Birthday Limerick

Our grandpa, a doctor, Lorne B
Has lived long and preposterously.
He’s fathered some four
Who’ve sired even more
Who’re grateful just simply to BE.

Whenever the grandchildren think
(a common occurrence… wink, wink)
we try to come up with
some birthday-ish plot which
will come off with nary a kink.

However, our grandpa is wise.
We’ll have to distract him with pies.
Ice cream with Saskatoon
While we blow up balloons
Then go to fetch him with sighs.

“Oh, Grandpa” we’ll say without smiles
“We traveled for miles and miles.
We wanted to stay but
we’d be in the way.”
Secret grins at our dastardly wiles.

“Goodbye G and G, off we go!”
And we’ll slug all the way through the snow
To the front of the house
Ring the bell and then douse
him in hugs (it’s his birthday, you know).

“Happy Birthday! Hey, were you surprised?”
“You probably guessed or surmised…”
“Now, here’s a new watch.”
“Would you like a scotch?”
Our merriment now undisguised.

But since we are too far away
To put this great plan into play
For occasions propitious
We send our best wishes
And hope for a marvelous day!